When Write Is Wrong

Head Games

2012-03-09T08:00:00.000-05:00

Here's the pitch and ... it's missed its mark. The headline writer has thrown us a curve. In the pitched battle to secure a spot in the New York Yankees' rotation, it was not Pineda who was named a starter. Tell that to the headline writer who is throwing names around like a party crasher tweeting from the post-Oscars Governors Ball. In this case, the "headlining act" should have been Kuroda (first name: Hiroki). That's strike one, headline writer. Two more and you're out.

I'm making a pitch for writers to stop filling our heads (our "heads" — get it?) with false information. Head back to the start and toss Pineda into the trash and Kuroda into the headline. Don't make me bring in a reliever.

The Calm After the "Strom"

2012-03-07T08:00:00.000-05:00

Tropical Storm Irene made its way to Connecticut in 2011. Two months later, a nor'easter stormed in — pun intended.

The August tropical storm and the October snowstorm left hundreds of thousands of state residents without power — many for more than a week. In the storms' wake, Connecticut Gov. Dannel P. Malloy created a special panel to assess the preparations for and responses to a pair of weather events that left many in the dark, literally.

Gov. Malloy's "Two Storm Panel" can be critiqued for missing a hyphen, but at least storm is spelled correctly. I guess CTNewsJunkie didn't closely view the agenda. Check out the fifth item down on the website's edition of "Morning Coffee & Politics," which my friend Abby e-mailed to me. What's a "Two Strom Panel"? Is that a two-person panel consisting of former U.S. senator Strom Thurmond and another member with the same first name?

I'm sure CTNewsJunkie will weather this "strom." If not, I may have to convene a special panel.

Caught in the (the) Act

2012-03-05T08:00:00.000-05:00

Johnny Calvin Brewer helped catch Lee Harvey Oswald. Big deal! Today, I caught an error in a USA Today blurb. If you read the sentence aloud, it should be an easy one to find. How many times have we typed "and and" or "the the" without even realizing it? Happens to the best of us. That's why we must carefully read what we write, especially if it's going to be published. The the consequences consequences can can be be embarrassing embarrassing.

That's Not Fair

2012-03-01T08:00:00.001-05:00

For those who are unaware, I live in southwestern Connecticut — in Fairfield, to be exact. It's a picturesque town, situated along Long Island Sound and located less than an hour from the Big Apple. In 2006, Money magazine named it the ninth-best place to live in America. Enough about my hometown. On to today's example of "writing gone wrong." If I had missed this error, it would have reflected poorly on my editing skills.

While watching a UConn-Stanford women's college basketball game on ESPNU with my brother, I spotted this misspelling late in the first half. Shame on you, ESPN. Your headquarters are in Bristol, Connecticut, a stone's throw (OK, 50 miles) from Fairfield. I expect you to be able to spell Connecticut towns correctly. To make matters worse, the same graphic popped up again in the second half, and it hadn't been fixed.

You tell me: Does ESPN stand for "Entertainment and Sports Programming Network" or "Extra Spelling Preparation Needed"?

The Losses Mount for Xavier

2012-02-27T08:00:00.002-05:00

It was a rough day for Xavier University. For starters, the men's basketball team lost its first game of the season — in large part because a number of its players were suspended for their roles in an ugly "basket brawl." Then, the school's home city, Cincinnati, lost an n and acquired an unwanted t in the opening sentence of this sports brief. Finally, the school lost a letter from its name. Where's the r in the second-to-last sentence? It looks like part of Xavier has been, ahem, x-ed out.

Ironing Out Some Confusion

2012-02-24T08:00:00.001-05:00

This post is about a movie that's a few years old, so it's not like I'm striking while the iron is hot, but I couldn't resist using my superpowers for good in another Robert Downey Jr. film.

Remember the 2008 movie Iron Man? I enjoyed it. In fact, it's one of my favorite superhero flicks. It's not perfect, though. Here's why:

About five minutes into the movie, during a video presentation at an awards show in Las Vegas, a Forbes magazine is seen. On the cover is Tony Starks, superbly played by Downey Jr. "Tony Starks takes reigns at 21," the cover blurb proclaims.

Starks reigns at his company, Stark Industries, sure, but he did so by taking the reins at 21.

The cover blurb is letting readers know that Starks took controlling power of the company at a young age. In this instance, we need the noun reins. The noun reign refers to royal authority (the reign of King Henry XIII) or the power or influence of one resembling a monarch (the reign of Steve Jobs).

It's an understandable mix-up, but it's one I had to point out. I'm also deducting a few additional points for two other magazine-related errors (not pictured) that pop up during this scene. Both have to do with missing hyphens. I'll let my readers figure out where the missing punctuation marks belong.

On the cover of Popular Mechanics: "Six year old Tony Stark builds first V8"
A photo caption in MIT Technology Review: "Tony Stark poses with the prize winning robot in his father's workshop at Stark Industries."

Goodbye, Khalid

2012-02-22T17:42:00.000-05:00

Dear Khalid,

Not now! Please, not now.

I'm not ready to say goodbye to you. Not now. Not a mere 12 days after losing my beloved Marshmallow. In the span of less than two weeks I've lost two of the most important things in my life. Things. What an inadequate word to describe my cats. Should I have used animals? Too limiting. Beings? Too ambiguous. I'm searching for a proper term, but I'm coming up empty. Can you blame me for not having a clear head at the moment? Hell, yesterday, hours after you left us, we made tuna casserole for dinner and, because we were so out of sorts, so sorrowful, we forgot to include the tuna!

Our shortest month is the cruelest. It's associated with hearts and love, but February, in 2012, has been nothing but heartbreak and lost loves for me. For my family.

Yesterday is a blur. A heartbreaking, mind-boggling blur. Did you really have a seizure on the dining room floor? Was I really holding you as you convulsed violently? Did we really rush to the vets, to no avail? Thirteen is too young to die. I can't process this. Were you that eager, Khalid, to get to the other side of the Rainbow Bridge and see Marsh again? If that's the case, I wouldn't blame you. But I would miss you. I do miss you. Terribly.

Never again will I have you look up at me with your marble eyes, black as night. You were so trusting, always, but particularly during your twice-daily insulin injections and pill takings. Mom made you as comfortable as possible, of course. I teased her about it, but she was the true "chief of staff" at our in-house hospital.

All your "visits" to the bed for your injections and pills ended the same: with Mom planting a kiss (or two or three or four) atop your little head. You knew the routine, and you didn't attempt to leave until the kiss was given. One time, Mom forgot your kiss and left the room, only to return minutes later with you still recumbent on the bed, awaiting your smooches. You didn't leave the bed. Yesterday, you left this big bed we call earth — and you took a piece of me with you.

You gave so much more than you took, however. I suppose you had a lot to give. You were, after all, a bit big-boned, just like your namesake Khalid El-Amin, the starting point guard on the 1998-99 UConn basketball team that won the national championship. I was in the arena in St. Petersburg, Florida, the day Khalid and his teammates captured the national title. It was a great, great day that continues to bring me immeasurable joy. It's fitting, then, that you were named for one of the team's players, for you too have brought me more happiness than I could have ever envisioned.

You weren't the excessively loving, cuddle-in-your-lap cat, but when you wanted "ups," you perched on your back legs, placed your front paws on our knees and sought rough knuckle rubs atop your head. Oh, how I wish I could give you one more.

Or have you sleep with Paul one more time. You didn't grace us with your presence often, but on the rare occasions you did sleep with us, you'd get so content and reach such a state of comfort that you'd drool. That always made Paul smile. If my brother's smiling, I'm smiling. So thank you, Khalid.

I must admit, I can't thank you for the following: Every so often, your "deposits" in the litter box would be so strong, so terribly strong, that gas masks would have come in handy. They were, as Paul described 'em, "the stinkiest poops in the world — worse than any human."

But, even sans gas masks, we didn't care. In fact, we found it funny. You were our "Big Guy," after all. Our "Chumbawumba." Our "Fatty Fat Fat." Affection monikers all.

Whose PH level will I check now? (Of course, your PH level had nothing to do with acids and bases. It measured the status of your "poopy heinie.") Who will come running when I open a can of food? (I couldn't snap the tab on a can without you hearing it and making a beeline toward the kitchen, even if I purposely had the water running to drown out the pop! of the can.) Who will drink out of the backyard birdbath again? Whose bladder-control problems will result in wet basement floors for me to scrub? (It was a dirty job, but it pales in comparison to the times you peed on us as we carried you into the bedroom for your insulin shot!)

I'll save your favorite spots for you, Khalid. In the cat bed, under the dining room window. Under the backyard pine tree, where you were safe, secluded, shaded ... and close enough to the back door to hear calls of "You want to eat?" In the northwest corner of the deck, where you'd sleep or watch the backyard menagerie, including the mice and birds, of which you caught one or two (who's counting?) during your 13-plus years as a member of our family. You'd leave your "catch of the day" at the back door for us. A gift. How thoughtful.

The best gift you gave me, of course, was you. I'll carry it with me, always.

Give Marsh a kiss for me. I love you, Khalid.

Love,
Owen

A Bad Date

2012-02-22T08:00:00.000-05:00

Are you a baseball fan itching for Opening Day? To pass some of the time between now and then, consider purchasing a 2012 baseball yearbook. Some have already hit the shelves at bookstores and newsstands nationwide; others will be, like Alex Rodriguez with two strikes, out soon.

The Lindy's baseball yearbook, for example, comes out Feb. 31, according to the company's website. Cool. That means we have to wait only nine days for it to— Whoa! Wait a minute! I don't want to leap to conclusions, but a leap year February, which we have in 2012, has but 29 days. Is this some sort of leap, leap, leap year? Does the Lindy's magazine really come out March 2? I'm confused.

Turns out, it's just a bad date, similar in name only to the one that killed the monkey in Raiders of the Lost Ark.

There's no crying in baseball, and there's no 31st day in February. It's but a "day" dream. If you attempt to wait until Feb. 31 to buy your baseball preview magazine, you'll be waiting a long time. Almost as long as the Cubs have been waiting to win a World Series.

Get Lost, "Get"

2012-02-20T08:00:00.001-05:00

Oh, poor Nebraska and Michigan. They didn't get the help they needed. Neither did the proofreader of this article. Had he, he would have been notified that the word get is repeated.

We all type the same word back-to-back from time to time, but it's a simple error that any spell-check program will find. When I commit this offense in Microsoft Word, the repeated word is immediately underlined in red, letting me know I've made a boo-boo.

Often, repeated words don't even register to a reader. Still, it's too, too bad they occur.

Poor Old Johnnie Ray

2012-02-17T08:00:00.002-05:00

I am a child of the '80s. My favorite movie is from the '80s. My favorite television show is from the '80s. My favorite music is from the '80s. I enjoy many of the one-hit wonders that hit the airwaves during the days of Rubik's Cubes, Guess jeans and New Coke.

One of my favorites is "Come On Eileen" by Dexys Midnight Runners. The 1982 song was a No. 1 hit in the United States and the year's top-selling single. Those accomplishments were bolstered, no doubt, by a video featuring a group of overall-wearing musicians.

As a fiddle plays over a percussive beat, the video opens with archival footage of Johnnie Ray, a singer and songwriter popular in the 1950s, exiting an airplane. His devoted female admirers are waiting for him. One has "Johnnie Ray Fan" spelled out on her shirt. Another has "Johnnie Ray" written on her shoes. A third has "Johnnie" emblazoned on her sweater.

Where's the beef, you might be wondering.

Well, the opening lyrics of "Come On Eileen" are as follows:

Poor old Johnnie Ray / Sounded sad upon the radio / Broke a million hearts in mono

Yet when the lyrics kick in, spelled out for us on the screen, what do we see?

"Poor old Johnny Ray..."

Poor old Johnnie Ray, indeed. He had his name misspelled. Did the music-video director not notice the shirt? The shoes? The sweater? Come on, Dexys Midnight Runners.

Johnnie on a shirt

Johnnie on some shoes

Johnnie on a sweater

Johnny on the screen

Where Is He?

2012-02-15T08:00:00.000-05:00

Where is he? During the course of the last couple of years, people have been asking that question often about NBA player LeBron James, in reference to his propensity to "disappear" during the closing moments of important games. (See: 2011 NBA Finals) This particular question was the basis of the pictured USA Today article, actually. I'm posing that very same question, though I literally want to know: Where is he?

Read that last sentence. It's not a sentence; it's a fragment. We need a subject. Oh, poor USA Today writer. You were doing so well right up until the very end.

Sound like any NBA superstar we know?

What's New?

2012-02-13T08:00:00.001-05:00

A simple transposition will fix the "rhyme time" error in this Connecticut Post article. "New two" should be "two new."

My guess — and this is merely a guess — is that the original AP story had "based on the claims of new accusers," and somewhere along the line an editor wanted to include a bit of numerical detail. Problem is, he or she threw two in to view after it was due, and in lieu of "two new" we got "new two." It's true.

Goodbye, Marsh

2012-02-09T19:48:00.001-05:00

"If man could be crossed with the cat it would improve man,

but it would deteriorate the cat." – Mark Twain, 1894

Dear Marshmallow,

I glanced over at the heating vent in the living room, but you weren't there. You weren't there.

You weighed less than 5 pounds at the end, Marsh, yet your passing leaves me with the heaviest of hearts.

You came into my life more than 18 years ago. More than eighteen years. In a sense, that's a long time. Think about it. In 1993 ...

... gas cost, on average, about $1.10 a gallon.
... Justin Bieber had yet to be born.
... being green was primarily a concern for Kermit, not a lifestyle choice.
... only birds tweeted.
... the NFL had only 28 teams, including two in Los Angeles.
... O.J. Simpson was best known for being a Hall of Fame NFL player.
... we weren't limited to 3.4 ounces of liquids and gels in our carry-ons.

Today, however, those 18 years are a blur, flashing before me like a shooting star — moving so fast, burning so bright, disappearing too soon.

For myriad reasons, I have been so blue for so long now that I'd need a ladder to be down in the dumps. This morning, though, my life became immeasurably more melancholy. Marsh, my pretty girl with the big, beautiful green eyes, is gone.

The pretty girl who staked her claim to the spot in front of the heating vent on cold Connecticut days.

The pretty girl who sought out the sunny spot, whether in the corner of the backyard cat pen or at the foot of the stairs when the light shined through the front door.

The pretty girl who was smart enough to hold her food dish in place with her paw while the silly male cats of the house pushed their plates from one end of the room to the other at mealtime.

The pretty girl who had us laughing the day she left a "special treat" (of the fecal variety) in a pair of slippers.

The pretty girl who awakened Mom each morning with a nose-to-nose greeting, sometimes adding a lick of an eyelid. In return, you'd receive a kiss on the top of the head. I can't begin to count the number of such kisses you received in your 18+ years. You were Mom's girl. You always will be.

The pretty girl who slept in a camel-like position from time to time. It looked so uncomfortable. Today, I am the uncomfortable one.

The pretty girl who was — and who will continue to be — the, shall we say, butt of an inside joke that will live on in perpetuity in our family.

The pretty girl who preferred her meals topped with broken-up pieces of sliced cheese.

The pretty girl who somehow always sensed when Mom was ill and kept her constant company, nestling at her side.

The pretty girl who often felt her human counterparts couldn't get the food out of the can and into her dish fast enough to suit her. You'd meow ... and meow ... and meow. I laughed off the incessant cries because I loved you as you loved me: unconditionally.

The pretty girl who left us for a week a decade ago. Where did you go? I didn't really care. I just hoped and prayed you'd find your way back. When I got the call that you had returned home, I raced across town, heart thumping, to see you. You greeted me at the back door. I picked you up, cradled you in my arms and dropped to the kitchen floor. That moment, seated on the linoleum, with my back propped up against the refrigerator, is imprinted in my mind's eye with the utmost clarity. I will never forget that moment, that feeling. Time spent with you was never wasted.

You asked for nothing, Marsh. Well, nothing more than food, shelter, a clean litter box, some sun and a few other basic necessities. You gave so much, though, whether you realized it or not. You've left an indelible mark on my heart, Marsh. I will miss you so much.

I already do.

Love,
Owen

Failing to Medal

2012-02-09T08:00:00.000-05:00

Short-track speed skater Apolo Ohno earned three medals at the 2010 Winter Olympic Games in Vancouver. He was a focal point of NBC's coverage. Had he seen what we see here, Ohno would have exclaimed, "Oh, no!"

Fortunately, Ashley, a Drew Barrymore fan who runs the charming, fun-filled Drewseum website, caught and captured this Olympian "oops" moment and sent it my way. Thanks, Ashley!

NBC has had its share of "must-see TV" over the years, including The Cosby Show, Family Ties (my all-time fave!), Cheers, Seinfeld and Friends. Was this must-see TV? Only for those of us on the prowl for spelling errors. Thank you, Peacock Network. (Cue the famous three-note NBC chimes.)

A Capital Offense

2012-02-06T08:00:00.000-05:00

I set up today's image, which is from a USA Today article about air travel, so that the error basically jumps off the page. Take a second and see if you can find it.

Second's up!

As a journalist, it's of the utmost importance to spell proper names — of people, places and things — correctly. If you aren't sure of a spelling, look it up.

The capital of Argentina is Buenos Aires, not Buenes Aires. Buenos Aires means "Good Air" or "Fair Winds" in Spanish. Good air? That's nice. Good error? Does such a thing exist?

The Headline Was No-Go

2012-02-02T08:00:00.000-05:00

Today's post is about an error that appeared in a newspaper more than a year ago, but it's such a classic — an above-the-fold misspelling of a city name in large, bold letters — that I couldn't resist revisiting it.

NFL fans reading this will recall that last season the Green Bay Packers faced the rival Chicago Bears at Soldier Field in Chicago in the NFC Championship Game. In its preview of the big game, the Green Bay Press-Gazette made a glaring error front and center on page A-1.

I've got to hand it to the folks at the Press-Gazette, though. The next day, they addressed their error and handled the situation with humor.

For those living under a rock, the Packers went on to defeat the Bears en route to a Super Bowl victory. In the battle for biggest blunder on a front page, however, Green Bay failed to supplant reigning champion Chicago. After all, it was the Chicago Tribune that declared "Dewey Defeats Truman" in its Nov. 3, 1948, edition. Inaccurately reporting the winner of a presidential election trumps misspelling a city name any day. Sorry, Green Bay.

Discovering a New City

2012-01-30T08:00:00.000-05:00

Ohio State defeated VMI in what city? I didn't attend the 33-point blowout, but I'm fairly confident the game was played in Columbus, Ohio — the capital of the Buckeye State and home to Ohio State University. The state's largest city, which was founded in 1812, was named for explorer Christopher Columbus. In 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue. In 2011, the Connecticut Post blew it.

She Goes by the Name of...

2012-01-26T08:00:00.000-05:00

The text you see here is a portion of an article about how lockers — a symbol of U.S. high schools for decades — are being phased out in this technological age.

The Temple, Texas, district spokeswoman is Regina Corley. Or is it? Look closely at the bottom line. Regina's last name has mysteriously changed to Corely.

Had the writer handed in this article to my reporting professor at the University of Florida, she would have been docked an automatic 50 points and would have received an F. Harsh? Perhaps. But the College of Journalism professors were trying to instill in us a commitment to accuracy. I don't blame them. I don't think Regina Corley would either. Or Regina Corely.

On Separate Occasions

2012-01-23T08:00:00.000-05:00

Occasion isn't the easiest word to spell. Some think it has two c's and one s. (Those folks are correct.) Others believe it has one c and two s's. Still others maintain that it has two c's and two s's. Seeing it spelled incorrectly, therefore, isn't too surprising. Or so I thought. It is surprising to find it spelled two different ways — one right, one wrong — on the same laminated advertisement, which is what happened when I was at Johnny's Diner in Fairfield, Connecticut, recently.

Oh, Johnny, you weren't good. Occasion makes up 9.5 percent (two of the 21 words) of your sign. Is it asking too much to spell it correctly in both spots? Heck, I think it would have been preferable to misspell it twice; at least you would have been consistent.

Johnny's Diner does have its share of tasty dishes, including the grilled chicken sandwich on a Portuguese roll that I had on this visit. That's why I eat there. Occasionally.

It's "To" or Die

2012-01-20T08:00:00.000-05:00

I'm not making light of the AP story in today's post — just the Connecticut Post headline that accompanied it.

Man shot death? Who is death, and why isn't his name capitalized?

It should read, "Man shot to death in New London," of course. Committing this error isn't a fate worse than death, but I couldn't overlook it for the life of me.

Brett Fav ... ruh

2012-01-18T08:00:00.001-05:00

Today's post conjures up memories of one of my favorite lines in the movie There's Something About Mary. You can listen to it here.

Ted (Ben Stiller): What about Brett Fav ... ruh?
Mary (Cameron Diaz): What did I tell you the first time we met? I'm a Niners fan.

Poor Ted had issues trying to pronounce former NFL quarterback Brett Favre's last name. Turns out, he had company. Back in 1991, the Topps Stadium Club football set included a rookie card of a player by the name of Brett Farve. Oops.

The spelling error showed up on the front of card No. 94 ...

It's difficult to place too much blame on the good folks over at Topps. They were merely spelling his last name as it's — for unknown reasons — pronounced. And remember, this was back in the early '90s, long before Favre was a household name famous for his many touchdowns and infamous for his many retirements.

... and the back.

To Be, or Not to Be?

2012-01-16T08:00:00.000-05:00

Was — it's such a simple word. A three-letter verb that is the past tense of be. It'd be pretty hard to misprint was. Or so you'd think.

I don't mean to pile it on, but I found another error in the Nov. 7, 2011, issue of Sports Illustrated.

In one of the questions Dan Patrick posed to Michigan State quarterback Kirk Cousins in the "Just My Type" department, the word was was split and placed on separate lines.

Talk about a bad break.

Thinking Outside the Box

2012-01-12T08:00:00.000-05:00

I don't lead a wild, jet-setting life. When I'm not playing softball or basketball, I'm often reading, watching television or doing word puzzles. (Yeah, yeah — I'm not exactly "cool.")

I enjoy doing four puzzles that appear in USA Today: Word Roundup (a word search), QuickCross (a 4x4 crossword), Up & Down Words (a crossword-style game of linked two-word phrases) and Sudoku.

I caught an error in this Word Roundup. Can you spot it?

OK, time's up. The mistake has nothing to do with spelling or punctuation. It's a graphics error — one a proofreader should have noticed. Because I paid attention in elementary school, I knew the "famous flag maker" in question was Betsy Ross. I found Betsy and checked off a box. I found Ross and, um, had no box to check. Check (box), please.

An Unorthodox Ordinal Number

2012-01-09T08:00:00.000-05:00

Wow, check out this sign my friend Lindsay, of IAMNOTASTALKER, saw hanging outside a rugs store in Pasadena, California. Where to begin?

What store celebrates a 31-year anniversary? Don't get me wrong. Thirty-one is actually my favorite number. It has been ever since Yankees outfielder Dave Winfield first donned his No. 31 uniform in the early '80s. But it's not exactly a popular number, a milestone number. The world's finest hotels earn five stars. Bo Derek was a 10. Sixteen is sweet. Fifty is golden. Thirty-one? Baskin-Robbins notwithstanding, it has little cachet.

My main issue, however, is not with 31 but with those two little letters that follow. I've heard of imaginary numbers, but this is ridiculous. How on earth could this mistake go unnoticed? Go ahead, try to pronounce "31th." It's a tongue twister. As you reach the \ f \ sound, your mind can't help but segue into the start of the \ ər \ sound. But wait, there's a \ th \ sound at the end. What to do? Confusion reigns. THER-TEE-FERTH.

Lindsay saw this sign each time she headed to Old Town Pasadena. She walked by it for months, and each time she marveled at the fact that it was still up. I don't blame you, Lindsay. Someone did a number on this sign.

Up, Up and Away

2012-01-05T08:00:00.000-05:00

If the goal of the USA Today writer who came up with this caption was to get a rise out of me, mission accomplished. It's that two-word lead-in that has my temperature rising.

Doesn't the caption writer know that "rise up," in all its forms, is redundant? Something can't "rise down." The up, therefore, is not necessary. Yet, I am sad to report, it's everywhere.

We see it on TV:

ESPN ran an original series called "Rise Up" last year. The four-part series was meant to inspire. With a title like that, how could it?

We hear it on the radio:

As a child of the '80s who loves Def Leppard, I am pained to say that the group beckons us to "rise up" at the start of its hit song "Rock of Ages."

Seeing it and hearing it everywhere doesn't make it right. So, dear readers, rise against "rise up" with me, won't you? And, while we're at it, rise against other redundancies. Here are some that need to go:

Armed gunman
ATM machine
Exact same
Free gift
HIV virus
Join together
Pair of twins
Past history
PIN number
SAT test
12 noon (or 12 midnight)

Oh, the Horror!

2012-01-02T08:00:00.002-05:00

Today's post has my spider senses tingling. I have never seen the 2002 horror movie Eight Legged Freaks, but if the title is any indication, the David Arquette film has something to do with eight freaks who have legs. That's how it reads.

Where the heck is the hyphen? The movie is about mutant spiders, obviously, so the title should be Eight-Legged Freaks, which would refer to freaks who have eight legs. The makers of Eight Legged Freaks may want to consider changing that tagline from "let the squashing begin" to "let the hyphenating begin."

Eight Legged Freaks bugs me (pun intended), but it isn't alone. I'm pointing my movie-critic finger at you, The 40 Year-Old Virgin. You went 1 for 2 in hyphen usage. Where's the one between 40 and year? Without it, your movie is about 40 virgins who are a year old!

It takes a team — a big team — of talented individuals to make a movie, so it always surprises me when something as straightforward as a punctuation error goes unnoticed. All it takes is one person to say, "Um, the title of our movie really needs a hyphen." I'd be happy to move to Hollywood and be that person.

As the end credits roll during today's post, I'll leave you with a few honorable mentions in the "titular trouble" category. Here goes...

Two Weeks Notice (What I notice is that the apostrophe is absent.)
Law Abiding Citizen (Yet another case of the missing hyphen.)
Who Framed Roger Rabbit (Unless Who is the name of a person, this title desperately needs a question mark.)

That's a Lovely Red Gown

2011-12-29T08:00:00.000-05:00

Access Hollywood posted a short video of Jennifer Lopez speaking with a reporter after an October concert in Connecticut. In the video, J.Lo mentioned that she's grown as a performer since being on American Idol. Perhaps she didn't enunciate, because the Access Hollywood headline, which included a direct quote from Lopez, replaced grown with gown. Groan.

People, Places and (Wrong) Things

2011-12-27T08:00:00.001-05:00

My good friend Lindsay, of IAMNOTASTALKER, sent me a link to this "City Traveler" blog (from CityPASS) because she spotted a major fact error. While reading the article, about the top cities in which to set a holiday movie, I spotted an additional fact error. Allow me to share them both.

Why, at the end of the first paragraph, are we asked if Home Alone would be different if it were set in Alton, Ill., instead of New York City? Home Alone was not set in the Big Apple. It was set much closer to Alton, actually, because it's supposed to unfold in a Chicago suburb. The Home Alone sequel was set in NYC, which is why its full title is Home Alone 2: Lost in New York.

After mentioning Chicago and New York City, CityPASS heads west to discuss one of my favorite places, San Francisco. Four Christmases was indeed set in The City by the Bay, but, oops, it did not star Jennifer Aniston. The leading lady in that 2008 film was Reese Witherspoon. Witherspoon played Aniston's younger sister on a couple of episodes of Friends — and the two are friends in real life — but that's about as close as these actresses come to being one in the same. It seems you'd have to be as bumbling as the crooks from the first two Home Alone films to mix up two of Hollywood's biggest stars.

You have MovieFAILED, CityPASS.

In this Getty Images photo, that's Reese
on the left and Jennifer on the right.
See, they are not the same person.

A Mass-Produced Holiday

2011-12-22T08:00:00.001-05:00

In the back of my parents' garage, it's beginning to look a lot like what? Most folks who celebrate Christmas have boxes of Xmas lights. Not my parents.

Do you see what I see?

A box, a box

Lying in my sight

With a mistake as big as a kite

As you can see, my parents have X-mass lights. Yikes.

The abbreviated Xmas is an informal term for Christmas. It's assimilated into the English language to the extent that it even appears in the Oxford English and Merriam-Webster's dictionaries. As the dictionaries explain, the X is the symbol for Christ, from the Greek letter chi (X), initial of Christos Christ.

Use an X for Christ, add the last three letters from Christmas and, voila, you've got Xmas. What you don't want to do is include an additional s. The shorthand term has nothing to do with mass, the (often-capitalized) religious service.

It's time for my parents to get rid of the box. Let it go! Let it go! Let it go! Perhaps it can be used for storage on the Island of Misfit Toys.

Mele Kalikimaka to all my readers!

An Illuminating Experience

2011-12-20T08:00:00.001-05:00

We all have our holiday traditions. One of my favorites is driving around local Connecticut neighborhoods with my good friend Abby to check out Christmas lights. During our annual December drive, we come across a variety of displays. Some houses are lighted and trimmed in a way that would make Clark W. Griswold proud; others look like the family pet did the decorating. Some houses are awe-inspiring; others are awful. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, of course. In a sense, holiday displays are works of art, and, for one day, Abby and I are art critics. It's exhausting work. Builds up quite an appetite, too, which is why we pick up food — pizza and, because Abby admirably attempts to get more veggies into my life, salad in 2011 — after our holly, jolly drive-bys and head back to Abby's house to relax and watch a movie. This year we saw The Debt, starring Helen Mirren. We both give it a thumbs-up, though the end left us wanting a bit more. Turns out we're art critics and movie critics.

Before we settled on The Debt and settled in for a long winter's movie night (113 minutes, to be exact), a channel-surfing Abby spotted the squirrelly material seen here. She almost choked on her garden salad trying to notify me of the misspelling. Thanks, Abby, for finding an error — and for not choking.

Art critics. Movie critics. Writing critics. It's a triumphant holiday triumvirate!

Not Now, Leia, I'm Busy

2011-12-19T16:36:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, my family did some holiday shopping at an open-air market in midtown Manhattan known as "The Holiday Shops at Bryant Park," which the official Bryant Park website describes as "custom-designed jewel box kiosks." My mom searched for her standard items: hats, jewelry, ornaments and the like. My brother kept an eye out for food and drink. I, of course, was on the lookout for typos. I am happy to report that all members of our traveling party found what they were looking for.

While standing near the kiosk for Scent in a Basket, which sells handcrafted decorative soaps, and doing my best to stay warm (temps in the low 30s), I spotted this sign. When I pointed out the top line on the chalkboard to my brother, he joked, "Are you going to write about how the soaps are crafted by Han Solo?" Why yes, bro, I am.

Spelled with a d, as the red sign at the top shows, handcrafted means crafted, or made, by hand. Take away the d, however, and we can justifiably come to the conclusion that Han fashioned the items when he wasn't busy piloting the Millennium Falcon or battling the Empire.

May the d be with you the next time you put chalk to board at your custom-designed jewel box kiosk, Scent in a Basket.

Nothing to Write Holmes About

2011-12-16T08:00:00.000-05:00

Today's error is elementary, my dear readers.

About five minutes into the 2009 movie Sherlock Holmes, after Holmes and Watson have foiled a murder by Lord Blackwood, a photographer takes a photo to capture the moment, and the photo segues into the front page of a newspaper called The Penny Illustrated Paper.

SCOTLAND YARD CATCHES KILLER!

How did Scotland Yard manage to do so? Well, check out the subhead. "Sherlock Holmes Aides Police," we are informed.

Really?

Aids police is more like it. An aide (noun) aids (verb) others. Had the writer at The Penny Illustrated Paper done just a wee bit of detective work, he would have discovered this.

Where Did U Go?

2011-12-13T08:00:00.001-05:00

Looking for a college for your son or daughter? You may want to consider Purdue University, which came in at No. 96 on Forbes' list of "The Top 100 Best Buy Colleges."

The university, located in West Lafayette, Indiana, is renowned for its aerospace engineering program. It does not, however, offer a major in Poultry Science, despite what Forbes may lead you to believe.

A reader named John from San Jose, California, sent me this image. He was looking at the special report with his daughter, who noticed Forbes' flub. Did you spot it?

Take a look at the photo label on the far right. Perdue University? Forbes has confused the university with the famous chicken company. A rather birdbrained misspelling, I'd say.

Thanks to John for sending me this typo. If you see any worthy errors, readers, seize the opportunity and send 'em my way. Don't be chicken!

The Future Is Here

2011-12-09T08:00:00.003-05:00

My closest friends are well aware that a certain '80s classic about a teenager and a "crazy, wild-eyed scientist" is my favorite movie, hands down. Even casual acquaintances figure out rather quickly that I love Back to the Future, as can most people who are in my vicinity whenever my text-message ring tone is triggered.

Why is this "power of love" so strong? Is it because the film was unlike anything I had ever seen — and have ever seen since? Is it because of Michael J. Fox's terrific performance? (A bit of trivia: The role of Marty McFly originally went to Eric Stoltz, who shot weeks of footage before being replaced.) Is it because the smash hit is an enjoyable mix of genres, including comedy, drama, adventure and sci-fi?

Nah. It's because one of my hobbies is time traveling. What, you don't believe me? Fine, what is today's date? December 9, 2011. Now, take a gander at the date of the Connecticut Post newspaper I read today. That's right, it's two days from now. I took my DeLorean out for a little spin this morning, reached 88 miles per hour and, well, you know.

You'll be relieved to learn that I didn't run into my future self on the 11th, nor did I disrupt the space-time continuum. I did, however, watch the Colts-Ravens NFL game. SPOILER ALERT: The Ravens win. Now, how could I possibly know that if I didn't travel two days into the future? I also now know all about the incredible Dec. 11 story that garners front-page headlines, but I don't want to spoil things. You'll hear all about it in a couple of days.

Give Me an H!

2011-12-08T08:00:00.003-05:00

The error in today's post should be easy to spot. The photo caption notifies us of "an shake-up" in professional baseball. I have "an problem" with this one.

It's not an egregious error, but when I saw it, I knew it afforded me the opportunity to discuss a similar item I see — and hear — from time to time: "an historic."

Ugh.

That is not right, people. The University of Florida football team's 52-20 victory in the 1996 national championship game was not "an historic" event; it was a historic event. (To this blogger, anyway.) The article a should be used before consonant sounds, and the article an should be used before vowel sounds. The h in historic is not silent; therefore, the article a precedes it.

It's an honest mistake but a horrific one. (Note the correct usage of articles in that last sentence!)

It's I-O, You

2011-12-06T15:37:00.000-05:00

You have to feel for the Colts. With superstar Peyton Manning sidelined with a neck injury, the team is off to an unsightly 0-12 start this season. Indianapolis is so inept without its longtime quarterback that last Sunday the team found a way to lose to a make-believe opponent. I can understand losing to the Patriots, a first-place team with Tom Brady at the helm. But to fall to the Patroits? I know Colts stands for "count on losing this Sunday," but this is extreme.

That's Not Right

2011-12-05T08:00:00.000-05:00

I'm no doctor — nor do I play one on TV — but I'd venture to guess that Matt Hasselbeck's right elbow is sore because he has something imbedded in it. Some outpatient surgery can fix that. The procedure involves a quick tap of the "delete" key. Do that, and Hasselbeck should be good to go for Sunday's game.

I Take Offense

2011-12-02T08:00:00.000-05:00

Open the centerfold of the Nov. 7, 2011, issue of Sports Illustrated and you will see Peter King's NFL midseason all-pro team. Read closely and you will see an error.

Wide receiver Steve Smith plays for the Carolina Panthers. Carolina has trouble scoring. Its offense, in a sense, is offensive. So is using the word offensives instead of offenses.

The best defense against improper word usage? A good offense, of course.

A Slap in the Face

2011-12-01T17:56:00.001-05:00

Did anybody catch Ndamukong Suh of the Detroit Lions stomp on a fallen Green Bay Packers player on Thanksgiving Day? Suh was suspended two games for his actions. That's not enough in my opinion, but that's an argument for another day. Suh's disgraceful stomp reminded many, including the writer of this USA Today article, of a 2006 NFL incident in which Albert Haynesworth stepped on Andre Gurode.

It was at that point in the article that today's typo was staring me in the face. Let's face it: Faced has an unwelcome d. That makes me mad, though my anger will never reach a certain player's Suh-distic level. I prefer to release my anger into the ether via a blog post originating in Connecticut, my stomping ground.

A Y's Horoscope

2011-11-30T08:00:00.001-05:00

My brother, a Taurus, made me aware of today's look at writing gone wrong. It looks to me like the writer of this horoscope was creatively inspired to come up with a creative spelling for you'll. Is that the kind of impression he or she really wanted to make? This Aries doubts it.

There You Are, R

2011-11-28T08:00:00.003-05:00

Remember the missing r I was looking for earlier this month? I found it. It was hiding in Virginia.

More "Straight" Talk

2011-11-23T09:07:00.002-05:00

My bad. I assumed straight was an easy word to spell, but I was wrong. I noticed it misspelled on TV during a college football game earlier this month, and now my friend Lindsay, of IAMNOTASTALKER, has shared the following, just in time for Turkey Day. She came across this sign at a Trader Joe's in Pasadena, California. I wonder if the turkeys that are straight ahead are the people who made the sign. Hmm...

Happy Thanksgiving to all my readers!

A Holiday Break

2011-11-21T08:58:00.001-05:00

It's the time of year to give thanks. I, for one, am thankful that bars and bistros tend to take liberties when promoting their daily specials. One of my favorite people, Lindsay, who runs the terrific IAMNOTASTALKER website, spotted this sandwich board the other day outside of a cafe in Pasadena, California. I understand that the board's physical dimensions limit what can be written on it, but that's no excuse for taking what is one word and making it two.

Thanks Giving Sandwich? Really? The fourth Thursday in November is Thanksgiving — one word.

Before I sit down later this week for a turkey- and stuffing-filled feast, allow me to offer a couple of simple sign solutions:

Write smaller, and fit Thanksgiving on one line.
Stick to the size shown, but add a hyphen after the s ... and, if you truly want to be accurate, lowercase the g and the last n.

In the spirit of Thanks Giving Day, I went on a pilgrimage to discover other new holidays. I've come up with a few. Won't you celebrate them with me?

In Dependence Day

Lab Or Day

St. Pat Rick's Day

Settling a Score With TV Guide

2011-11-19T10:22:00.000-05:00

If you enjoy college football as much as I do, you may want to tune into tonight's Oregon-Southern California game on ABC. It should be entertaining. Fourth-ranked Oregon will be looking for its third straight victory in this Pac-12 series. You wouldn't know this if you looked at the latest issue of TV Guide.

The top listing in the TV schedule for Saturday the 19th is the Oregon-USC game. TV Guide describes the two teams as Pac-10 powers. Not anymore, TV Guide. The Pac-10 became the Pac-12 when Colorado and Utah joined the conference. The magazine then states that the Trojans defeated the Ducks 44-10 last season. I knew right away I was reading a fact error.

Even a casual college football fan can tell you that Oregon made it to the championship game last season, and that would not have been possible with a 34-point loss to the Trojans. I looked up the 2010 result and, sure enough, Oregon won 53-32 at USC. Where did TV Guide get 44-10, I wondered, so I checked to see if that was the score in 2009. Nope. Oregon won that one 47-20. Turns out, the 44-10 game TV Guide referred to took place in 2008.

And the all-time series lead for USC should read 37-18-2, not 37-16-2. For whatever reason, TV Guide failed to recognize the existence of the 2009 and 2010 college football seasons. Perhaps a bitter USC fan was in charge of the TV listings. If so, I can't blame him. As a University of Florida graduate, I'd like to erase the 2010 and 2011 seasons from my memory.

Family Issues

2011-11-16T16:31:00.001-05:00

A softball buddy who teaches seventh grade asked if he should send me some of the errors he finds in his students' work. I told him thanks but no thanks. This blog isn't intended to belittle others, especially those who are young and still learning. My goal is to find errors made in the professional world, and to dish them out with a side of humor.

I also don't claim to be perfect. Far from it, in fact. I admit here and now that I advanced to a town-wide spelling bee when I was in fifth grade ... and spelled chocolate wrong! My mother still brings that up, with a twinkle in her eye, every so often. Sigh. And I'm sure you'll find a typo or two on this site from time to time. (If you do, puh-lease let me know!) In my defense, it looks like spelling issues run in my family.

Today I caught a glimpse of my mom's to-do list. I love you to death, Mom, but what a turkey you are. Thanksgiving has a K in it.

I'd even venture to say Thanksgiving is easier to spell than chocolate, though that's just one man's opinion.

Great Scott!

2011-11-15T11:04:00.000-05:00

Call me crazy, but for me the most exciting thing in the November 2011 issue of Playboy had nothing to do with the centerfold or any particular pictorial. On the last page, in a section previewing what will appear in the next issue, was a reference to Back to the Future. That 1985 classic is my favorite movie of all time. By far. Love, love, love it! So much so, in fact, that I took a trip to Los Angeles in 2008 for the sole purpose of visiting its filming locations. Oh, sorry, I'm getting off topic. (If anyone wants to wax poetic about BTTF, I'm here!) Anyway, if you're even one-sixteenth the BTTF fan I am, you should be able to spot the fact error in Playboy's blurb.

If time travel truly is possible, the editors at Playboy should borrow that souped-up DeLorean, set their time circuits for the day before the issue went to press and change uranium to something with a little more kick. Namely, plutonium.

1+1+1+1+1+1=?

2011-11-11T14:15:00.001-05:00

I was reading the newspaper the other night while watching reruns of The Big Bang Theory. I came across the blurb at right on the front page of the sports section. The Big East plans to invite Southern Methodist, Houston, Central Florida, Boise State, Air Force and Navy. That — and correct me if I'm wrong — is six schools. I wasn't able to do all my counting on one hand, but I'm still fairly certain I got the math right. I can't say the same for the headline writer.

To spare the newspaper in question from any embarrassment, I will not identify it. I'll leave you with a couple of hints, though: You can get the paper in the USA. You can get the paper Today.

Trick Question

2011-11-09T12:05:00.000-05:00

I'm going to go with politics, because I've never heard of "romace."

This is from my local paper, the Connecticut Post. It's the first time the Connecticut Post has showed up in When Write Is Wrong, though I'm guessing it won't be the last. In fact, I predict the Connecticut Post, like Alec Baldwin on Saturday Night Live, will make the most appearances.

Where Are You, R?

2011-11-08T10:34:00.003-05:00

On Saturday I was doing what I always do in the fall: watch college football. I don't miss a Gator game for anything. (Although the games this season have been one headache-inducing affair after another. Sigh.) While watching my alma mater hold on for an uninspiring home victory against Vanderbilt, these "SEC Headlines" caught my eye. I paused my TV (thank you, DVR), grabbed my camera and snapped away.

My complaint has nothing to do with the LSU-Alabama info not being the top headline, though it should have been. It was this season's version of the "Game of the Century," for crying out loud, but I digress. My issue is with the top headline.

While Georgia searched for its seventh straight victory against New Mexico St., I searched for the r missing from that headline. No. 18 Georgia found its victory; I'm still looking for the 18th letter of the alphabet.

Off Target

2011-11-06T08:59:00.000-05:00

Sunday paper just arrived, chock full of inserts. The Target flyer had the six words you see here atop one of its pages. Now, I get it — advertisers and advertisements are less restrained by the rules of spelling and grammar than, say, a copy editor at a magazine. They have the freedom to be creative. That's fine. But creativity and readability are not mutually exclusive. So, even though I'll let it slide that the good folks at Target decided not to capitalize the first word, I will throw a big, tightly-packed snowball at them for not putting a punctuation mark between the fourth and fifth words. Try reading those six words. There is a natural pause. Well, there should be. But where is the period after day? Heck, I'd settle for a comma or a dash. Something.

The irony of it all is that Target's slogan is, "Expect More. Pay Less." It's not, "Expect More Pay Less." I expected more, Target. I got less.

Yellow Journalism

2011-11-05T17:38:00.003-04:00

It's my first When Write Is Wrong post, so I may as well get off to a hot start. I think this one will do the trick.

While living and working in Gainesville, Florida, a few years ago, I came across an instant-classic editing blunder in the local Yellow Pages. Come to find out, I could not vote in local elections — I met only five of the six requirements. Oh, well.

What a difference two little letters make, huh? If only in had been left out.

By the way, this blog does not discriminate. The mentally competent and mentally incompetent are welcome.