Monday, April 4, 2016

No Means No

Sometimes it's better not to know. This isn't one of those times.

Years ago, in the comments portion of an online article, I came across this whimsical poem:

Eye half a spell checker
It came with my PC
It plainly Marx for my revue
Miss steaks I can knot sea
I've run this poem threw it
I'm sure yore pleased too no
It's letter-perfect inn it's weigh
Four my checker tolled me sew

Spell checkers, like Little League right fielders or my spam filter, can't catch everything. Homophones are their kryptonite.

We need more than you, no. We need the verb relating to awareness or understanding. So, in the spirit of Ronald Isley and his siblings, I'll throw my hands up and shout:

I want you to know right now.

Monday, March 28, 2016

Cut From the Same Hoth

The Star Wars universe — the icy planet of Hoth, particularly — has its share of AT-ATs, those four-legged, canine combat vehicles used by the Empire. The paragraph pictured has a dissimilar "at at" in its fleet. An AT-AT is also known as an Imperial Walker. An "at at," from what I've observed, is an empirical stalker, what with the second at following the first much too closely.

You can't go wrong dressing your dog as an AT-AT (All Terrain Armored Transport) for Halloween. You can go wrong dressing your sentence similarly. Your words will clumsily collapse, like a lassoed Imperial Walker near Echo Base.

At, twice? Stop at once.

The second at must be left out in the cold.

Drop it like it's Hoth.

Monday, March 21, 2016

A Forgettable Sign

Poor Russ. He must be amnesiac, because he can't remember.

Capitalization notwithstanding, Russ managed to correctly spell the Libyan city where Islamic militants killed four U.S. diplomats in 2012. Somehow, though, his rember is short two members. Remember m-e. Transpose that, actually. Remember e-m. Those two letters, like a child in an acrimonious custody dispute, should be caught in the middle.

Embed e and m, for, you know, emphasis.

Emend your sign, Russ.

Don't forget: It's remember.