A: I don’t know. He must have dropped out of college.
Q: Unacceptable! Where the hell is he?
A: Hey! Mind your p’s and q’s.
Q: That’s what I’m trying to do. P is where he should be, in DEPAUL, yet Q has been dropped like Jeeves.
A: I don’t get the reference.
Q: Ask ask.com.
A: Um, OK.
Q: We’re getting off topic. Where did Q go?
A: Perhaps he got stuck in a long queue.
Q: Oh, hilarrrrrious.
A: I thought so.
Q: M-A-R-U? Are you serious?
A: Are you going to let this go?
Q: No. Where, I ask again, is Q?
A: I. Don’t. Know. Fact is, he’s gone, like the ink in a dried-out Bic pen. Yet you don’t seem convinced. You’re vigorously scribbling all over the proverbial page, pressing harder with each attempt. Accept it: Q, like the ink, is gone, and he’s not coming back.
Q: He must come back! MARQUETTE is incomplete without him. I will look for him.
A: Whatever. You’re not going to find him. You’d have better luck eating a bag of Doritos without getting orange cheese dust on your fingers.
Q: Stop being such a pessimist. I will find him! I will search the ends of the earth if that’s what it takes.
A: Don’t you think you’re being a tad melodramatic?
Q: Sorry. I can’t seem to escape my past as an actor on a telenovela.
A: ¡Dios mío!
Q: I’ve got to run. My search begins. One more thing, though: Do you think this post will garner a strong Q rating?
A: Undoubtedly! It merits widespread recognition. Acclaim is forthcoming. Soon we’ll be seeing it mentioned on maruees from coast to coast.