Misspellings, fact errors and typos: An editor's look at the not-so-fine print
Dear Owen, it is me again, Chris, from college. AOL may talk too much, but you talk too little, at least in this post. Could you perhaps expound a bit more concerning your specific issues you have with this AOL article. Please do not make me figure things out for myself. Please state all things in a very obvious manner, so I do not have to think. Thinking is far too difficult...about as difficult as reading a run-on sentence. Thanks!
No. Unless you pay me. Because money talks talks.
I thought only HGTV stars talks talks. Perhaps I didn't understand at all. Shall we talks talks about it?
Dear Owen, it is me again, Chris, from college. While I am very entertained by this article, it is from last month. Will we soon be getting a February article that I can also enjoy? Please don't leave your fans hanging! We want more!
I just remembered that 2016 is a Leap Year, which means we have an additional day in February. As such, I promise to provide another post this month. I know you're clamoring for one. I won't leave you, my No. 1 fan, hanging.
Probably not, because February is the shortest month and thus I don't have time to compose a post. If you don't believe that excuse, try this one: I don't have any fans. Unless you mean these: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ja3_Nr24CII
Dear Owen, it is me again, Chris, from college. I do not agree that you don't have any fans. You have 7 members (although one looks like it is duplicated), so that is at least 7 (or 6 because of said previously mentioned duplicate) fans. And if not for these fans, then just write it for me. :) And if you do just write it for me, does that make me your #1 fan? Is there a trophy involved?
Ooh, seven (or six) members after four-plus years. My meteoric rise is on schedule. You probably are my No. 1 fan, and because you're actively participating on my blog, I'll send you a participation ribbon. Those things seem to be highly valued in this day and age. I'm not sure why.
Dear Owen, it is me again, Chris, from college. I am glad to hear your plan to take over the world is on schedule...baby steps! Please note, however, I am still awaiting my participation ribbon. Please let me know when it should be delivered!
The ribbon was shipped February 30. I sent it via carrier pig, and I paid extra for underday delivery. For its latest whereabouts, I'd use the tracking number I was given: 1.