Monday, May 13, 2013

It's Not Easy Being Green

Earlier this year, a friend of a friend spotted this sign and posted it on his Facebook page. I’m appropriating it and giving it my own spin, appropriately. Consider it recycling.

If you read my “Clearing the Air” post last month, you know that I’m a member of the EPA*. My task today is to ban the use of some non-certified material. This hazardous waste, which has been haphazardly placed, will be disposed of responsibly. I won’t allow the debris to find its way to a landfill. I’m promoting efficiency and protecting quality. It’s better for this sign. It’s better for the environment.

Los Angeles Valley College (LAVC) is a community college in the San Fernando Valley. Some famous folks who have attended include actor Bryan Cranston, singer Micky Dolenz (The Monkees) and Magnum, P.I. himself, Tom Selleck, who played on the LAVC basketball team. Go Monarchs!

OK, enough background about this two-year public college that offers more than 140 associate degree programs and certificate programs. We have more pressing matters.

In its haste to get the sign printed, LAVC made waste. LAVC’s old college try fell short, and it’s my duty, ecologically and editorially, to reduce waste.

I’ll begin my work in the upper left, at the green Building. That big B needs to be demolished and replaced with a wee b. Much better.

Hop in my truck. We’re heading two doors down from the other building on campus. I’m going to instruct the contractor to lose the contraction. It’s? It has an extra component, making it incompetent. It’s better off being its true self, which is its. The apostrophe does not belong in this environment. I’ll dispose of it, leaving us with a possessive pronoun. Consider that my commitment to the environment — and to proper grammar.

The familiar environmental mantra is “reduce, reuse, recycle.” I put an EPA* spin on it today, opting to read, remove and replace a couple of “demolition dirty” elements on this sign. Rejoice!

* Editorial Protection Agency

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