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What kind of word begins with two r's? I need a translator. I could ask C-3PO, who is fluent in over 6 million forms of communication, but he's too whiny for my tastes. I will instead seek the service of everyone's favorite astromech droid, R2-D2. That's R2, for short. Oh, RDRR. (Sound it out.)

R2 tinkled with bleeps and whistles as he explained to me that the first word on the second line is like a flushed toilet — there is no p in it. If this were my swimming pool, I'd say let's keep it that way. This is no pool, however; it's a vice president at prestigious Duke University. We've got a serious situation, and we need to fix the leak. Relieve yourself of that first r. Or I'll be pissed.