Wednesday, November 23, 2016

In? One R. And Out? The Other

I'm going to say something that my mom, a home-shopping addict, never would: I'm not buying that, QVC.

I'm not buying what host Kristen Wiig and Cecily Strong were selling in their "QVC Auditions" sketch on last week's episode of Saturday Night Live. I prefer the variant spelling, pendant, but that's not the basis for my frugality. Neither is the missing hyphen in money-back. Are our ladies in red selling nautical ropes used to fasten a corner of a sail to the yard? No? Then don't dangle earings in front of us. Repair your broken jewelry.

Earings is to earrings what cubic zirconia is to diamonds. They're similar, but not the same.

What do I have in common with a small, button-like earring mounted on a metal post? Not much. Only one of us is a stud.

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