Thursday, July 28, 2016

Thirst Aid Required

This teenage entrepreneur at the Democratic National Convention in Philadelphia has a drinking problem, so to speak. His sign needs treatment, so I'm going to nurse his second drink.

Ryan Mercer / USA Today Network
The sign's top line could use some aid — and some ade. The drink suffix used for many fruity beverages is –ade, as in lemonade, limeade and Powerade.

We've fixed the ending, but that's just the beginning.

The same word's five-letter reptilian start is a crock. Not a croc — and certainly not a Gator.

The popular sports drink is Gatorade. I should know. It was developed in 1965 at my alma mater and named after its mascot. A team of scientists led by Robert Cade, at the request of the Florida Gators football coach, created a drink that replenished fluids lost by athletes during competition. Interestingly, the researchers considered calling it Gator-Aid, but they chose not to for commercial reasons. If they marketed it with the "Aid" suffix, the FDA would classify it as something other than a soft drink and medicinal properties would have to be proved.

Anyway, in summary, aid doesn't help. And see you later, Gater.

Next time, kid, drink responsibly.

Monday, July 11, 2016

Fighting an Unlawful R Rest

On the road to triumph, there are struggles.

Well, there should be.

To paraphrase abolitionist Frederick Douglass, without struggles there can be no progress.

The headline's second word is having difficulty conforming. Blame the combative writer who fought proper spelling, losing an r in his struggles.

Oppose inaccuracy. Combat carelessness. Add the alphabet's 18th letter.

In other words, put up a struggles.

Don't fight me on that.

Monday, July 4, 2016

Carla Chameleon

Actress Carla Gugino had a role in the– Hey!

Quit fooling around, Entertainment Weekly!

Gugino plays a part in five of your six images, but I’d flush number two.

That’s not Gugino butting foreheads with Michael J. Fox. That’s Paula Marshall, and it’s not the first time she’s replaced Gugino on Spin City. Marshall played Fox’s second serious girlfriend on the show; Gugino was his first.

The photo editor who marshaled these images — putting a new Spin on Gugino — should have realized that No. 2 depicts the actress I know best from her role as the NYU reporter on Seinfeld who thought Jerry and George were gay … not that there’s anything wrong with that. Photo No. 2 shows a scene from “The Marrying Men,” a 1998 Spin City episode in which Marshall’s character, Laurie, mistakenly believes Mike is proposing to her.

Gugino and Marshall bear a slight resemblance, and both brunettes have appeared on Spin City (duh) and guest-starred on episodes of The Wonder Years and Californication. Still doesn’t justify creating a photo gaffe with your No. 2 photograph.

Marshall may have had just a cameo within your pages, EW, but her bit part plagued the entire production.