Monday, May 25, 2015

Awaiting an Earlier Arrival

Rogers’ day included a frustrating beginning. A word in the paragraph recounting Rogers’ day suffered a rough ending.

En route to work, one has no time to sightsee. Reading about routes to work, one has plenty of time to sight c’s.

I got to the r in earlier and figured I’d safely reached the end of the paragraph when, out of nowhere, c cut in like the self-important commuter who aggressively switches lanes every six seconds or 20 feet, whichever comes first. He’s congesting a word in this sentence, and I’m on the verge of trafficking in retaliation. Do I honk the horn? Curse? Extend a road-rageous middle finger? Nah. Stay calm. Alert the authorities that an erc-some, unlicensed operator is on the road. A certain letter, like Rogers, showed up late.

Originally, the closing word in this USA Today paragraph had seven letters. That was an earlier version. I prefer it. So, remove that last letter. With that, earlierc becomes earlier. Our commute is complete.

Readers, I’ll catch you later. And I’ll catch you, earlierc. I always do.

Monday, May 18, 2015

WTA: Male-ing Letters

Oh, man. I’m familiar with mixed doubles, a four-player tennis match with one male and one female on each team, but is mixed singles a thing?

When former pro player and fellow Fairfield High School alumnus James Blake, whom I blogged about back in July 2014 after an initial Blake failure, ended his 14-year career, a reporter for Time reminisced … and missed.

When he wrote of James, “He was good enough, winning 10 WTA titles,” the reporter committed an unforced error, emasculating Blake in the process.



The WTA is the Women’s Tennis Association. Blake’s talent engendered a successful career on its masculine counterpart, the Association of Tennis Professionals. He won 10 ATP titles before “male-ing” it in following the 2013 U.S. Open.

The WTA, like the area between the service line and the baseline on a tennis court, is no-man’s land.

Monday, May 11, 2015

They're off to the Spaces!

Off and on, I come across a word on off. I get off on such errors, so I’d like to share the highs of this low.

The last paragraph got off to a good start, but then I noticed that something was off. Oh, right — to is on off. It must be fixed. Now, it’s off to work I go.

Off and to don’t go together — they aren’t Oreos and cold milk. We have a classic case of separation anxiety. Much like a teen heading off to college, we need a bit of breathing room. So, to, give her some space. Back off!

When you let down your guard and overlook a missing space, that’s a letdown. But if you step back, to, you’ll avoid harsh punishment. In other words, if you get off off, you’ll get off easy.

Monday, May 4, 2015

Dumb's the W-ORD

Back in 2014, W-ORD Channel 7 News co-anchors John Oliver and Cookie Monster delivered hard-hitting “news.” The parody broadcast, courtesy of Mashable, was about words — and included a misspelled word. Oh, the irony!

W-ORD Channel 7 News botched correspondent, though it had nothing to do with the c, which according to investigative reporter Telly Monster went missing and terrified local residents.

W-ORD’s word, _orrespondant, should have been _orrespondent.

That a, which I’m sure was an accidant, er, accident, is as unsettling as the pupil pinballing in the furry co-anchor’s left eye. It should be an e, of course, and I know this because I’m a smart cookie.

Cookie? Oh, boy! Oh, boy! Om nom nom nom nom!


W-ORD’s investigative reporter must get to the bottom of that erroneous “Telly” graphic. This viewer demands to know more about that foreign correspondent.