Sacking the Rookie

So let me get this straight: In the 50 Super Bowls that have been played, no starting quarterbacks have a win? Au contraire! A starting quarterback has won every Super Bowl.* (A starting quarterback has also lost every Super Bowl, but I digress.) Even when a team wins a Super Bowl in spite of its starting quarterback (See: John Elway, Super Bowl XXXII; Peyton Manning, Super Bowl 50), the starting QB "wins" the Super Bowl.

Dak Prescott is aiming to become the 51st starting quarterback to win a Super Bowl but the first to do so as a rookie. Will he? No, says this Cowboys fan. But he's trying. The caption writer was trying, too. Sometimes trying isn't enough.

* If you want to get technical, starting quarterbacks have won 49 of the NFL's 50 annual championship games. In Super Bowl V, Baltimore Colts QB Johnny Unitas suffered bruised ribs and had to be taken out late in the first half, with his team trailing the Dallas Cowboys 13-6. In stepped Earl Morrall, who led the Colts to a touchdown and a field goal in the fourth quarter in Baltimore's 16-13 victory.

Tech No Bowl

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USA Today's accuracy record in bowl blurbs after listing West Virginia as the winner of the Belk Bowl.

This "Magic Number" needs Tech support, because that bowl's a crock. When Arkansas blew a 24-0 halftime lead in Charlotte on Dec. 29, it did so against a school with Virginia in its name — but not West Virginia. The Razorbacks lost to Virginia Tech. West Virginia played the day before, losing to Miami in the Russell Athletic Bowl in Orlando.

Yes, Virginia, as sure as there is a Santa Claus, there is a difference between West Virginia and Virginia Tech.

Give Each Other Space

Am I in the mall parking lot the week before Christmas? Am I one of the last passengers on a December flight, trying to put my carry-on in an overhead bin? It must be one or the other, because I can't find a space.

A couple of words in the Flight Before Christmas TV listing above are cramped tighter than airline seats in coach.

The blurb, like made-for-TV Christmas movie veteran Lacey Chabert and I, was made for "each other."

Have a holly, jolly Christmas, readers, and when you're filling out your holiday cards or wish lists, remember to put a space between eachword. Dammit!

P.S. Is the blurb technically correct? Can a plane strand people? People can strand people. Bad weather, like the snowstorm in The Flight Before Christmas, can strand people. High tide can strand people. A dead car battery can strand people. A lost passport can strand people. A plane crash can strand people. But a plane? That doesn't fly with me.