Monday, January 7, 2013

Test Time

I'm sitting in a waiting room. It's colonoscopy time for a family member, and I'm the support group and the designated driver. I've brought reading material from home so I don't have to pass the time perusing the outdated copies of People or the medical brochures scattered haphazardly on each corner table. I've got my latest Sports Illustrated. I've got USA Today. As a familial colon is examined behind closed doors, I'll examine a familiar newspaper for errors. My exam requires no fiber optic cameras or flexible tubes — just an attention to detail ... and an ability to spell.

Faster than you can say polyps I've found two typos. In the same sports column, no less.

Front and center, typo No. 1! Something's missing in that centerpiece. Oh, right, the e. If only the writer or editor had given piece a chance.

Adding to the tally a mere three paragraphs later is typo No. 2. Put out an Error Alert for another missing vowel. If the writer had added an a to dds, it would have increased readability.

My relative's doctor found nothing during her colonoscopy. A success! I found two misspellings during my probe. A success!


  1. Very interesting reading. Can you guess who's making this statement?

  2. I don’t have to guess. I know. It’s right there, next to the time stamp: Anonymous. You’re the person who wrote the book “Primary Colors: A Novel of Politics.” You moonlight as a hacktivist group. I’ve seen you in the movie “V for Vendetta,” wearing a Guy Fawkes mask. You were a first-season episode of “CSI.” You’re the author of countless love letters. Your talents are diverse. Or so I’ve been told by countless sources. All anonymous, of course.