Thirst Aid Required

This teenage entrepreneur at the Democratic National Convention in Philadelphia has a drinking problem, so to speak. His sign needs treatment, so I'm going to nurse his second drink.

Ryan Mercer / USA Today Network

The sign's top line could use some aid — and some ade. The drink suffix used for many fruity beverages is –ade, as in lemonade, limeade and Powerade.

We've fixed the ending, but that's just the beginning.

The same word's five-letter reptilian start is a crock. Not a croc — and certainly not a Gator.

The popular sports drink is Gatorade. I should know. It was developed in 1965 at my alma mater and named after its mascot. A team of scientists led by Robert Cade, at the request of the Florida Gators football coach, created a drink that replenished fluids lost by athletes during competition. Interestingly, the researchers considered calling it Gator-Aid, but they chose not to for commercial reasons. If they marketed it with the "Aid" suffix, the FDA would classify it as something other than a soft drink and medicinal properties would have to be proved.

Anyway, in summary, aid doesn't help. And see you later, Gater.

Next time, kid, drink responsibly.