Thursday, March 12, 2015

An Un-Y's Lawyer

When is a door not a door? When it’s ajar. (Groan!) When is a car not a car? When it turns into a driveway. (Double groan!) When is a lawyer not a lawyer? I think we have our answer.

Remember Trayvon Martin, the Florida teen whose killing made national headlines in early 2012? George Zimmerman, a neighborhood-watch volunteer, shot Martin. Zimmerman, who claimed self-defense, was charged with second-degree murder.

The facts in that controversial case are disputed. The facts in the following case are clear-cut. A writer is guilty of negligent misspelling, and the evidence is irrefutable. No public outrage this time. No protests by folks in hooded sweatshirts. I’m going by the book — and that book is Merriam-Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary.

I’m not interested in the letter of the law; I’m interested in the letter after the law. It’s e. Why? It should be y. Why is the y not abiding by law? Is it not law-abiding? I’m taking the “lawer” into my own hands and adding the alphabet’s penultimate letter. Lawyer is missing one of its layers. Why? I don’t know. Y? Yes!

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