Thursday, March 5, 2015

Big Brother Is Watching You

For its lists of the NBA’s top rebounders, this newspaper has a go-to style: the player’s last name, followed by a comma and a three-letter team abbreviation in all caps. GOL, for example, indicates the Golden State Warriors, NYK stands for New York Knicks and POR is shorthand for Portland, home of the Trail Blazers.

The list looks proper on the surface. Burrow a little deeper, however, and you’ll come across a borough that isn’t so dapper. Acting like an intrusive government, I had this rebounding list under my surveillance for some time. One of my minions recently noticed nonconformity, which caused quite a bro-haha in our monitoring station.

On what team does Evans play?

He plays for the Brooklyn Nets, which in this paper’s style should be BRO. Alas, we’ve got a little Bro where a big BRO should be. To rebound from this broken Brooklyn, we must say adios to our younger sibling.

So long, Bro!

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