Monday, October 2, 2017

The Reconstitution ERA

Look at the bottom of the leaderboard — at the end of an ERA, if you will.

In a rundown of Major League Baseball’s earned run average leaders, Oakland’s Lester is in a sixth-place tie with … Oakland’s Lester. This list, it seems, is made of poly-Lester. Like an inconsiderate parker, the pitcher is taking up two spots.

We could do nothing about this ERA error, and hope one Lester festers, but why not be proactive? We can pitch Lester. Let’s make like many of the pitcher’s initial offerings to a batter: Strike one.

But which Lester is the lesser of two evils? In terms of rank, there is an A-Lester and a B-Lester. The A-Lester must be a bigger name, even though both have six letters. So, let’s get rid of the less popular B-Lester.

And don’t even think about adding a C-Lester and a D-Lester. The last thing we need is mo’ Lesters. (Groan!)

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