Friday, June 6, 2014

A "Crisis" Situation

One kind word can change someone’s day — but not always for the better.

While watching the latest episode of Crisis, an NBC drama about D.C. high school students abducted during a field trip, I spotted a kind- word that echoed loudly, for troubling reasons.

From 10 to 11 p.m. ET on Sundays — in times of Crisis — I reach for meaning. Last Sunday night, meaning escaped me. To be more specific, the meaning escaped me — the meaning of two words seen in a faux TV report.


What first spelled disaster for Crisis, which was canceled after only one season, was its misguided attempt to form the word that means people who unlawfully seize and detain victims, usually for ransom. The show had to choose between being kind and being right. It chose to be kind. That’s not right.

The first syllable of the first word in that stilted, passive caption is, like an 18-year-old, not a kid anymore. (They grow up so fast.) Kind is not a nice start. When I discovered this unusual sequence of letters during the episode aptly titled “Found,” I thought: What’s the meaning of this?! Is a kindnapper some sort of friendly sleeper? You’ve got to be kidding me. You need to be kid-ing me.

Disaster loomed again near the end of the next line, when another error jumped off the screen on my screen. What’s with abandoned’s 3-d spelling? Someone’s depth perception is off. That extra d has resulted in a word that falls flat.


How would I handle this problematic situation? I’d remove the n and abandon the d. I’d also add an apostrophe after the s in kidnappers, because the word is possessive, and I’d delete the extra character space between military and troops. That, readers, is rapid, effective Crisis management.

Wednesday, June 4, 2014

A BB Queue

Ailing right elbow, huh? It’s a front, I’m sure. Gardner is headed to the disabled list because he’s got an unusual growth on his forehead. It’s an embarrassing situation, to be sure, so the Yankees are hiding the truth and feeding us lies.


The outfielder’s first name ends with repeating letters, b-but it doesn’t b-begin that way.

BBrett? Shoot no. Let’s take out one of those B’s with a shot pellet and fix this Gardner-variety error. With BB gone, we’ll get Brett, and this BB ding will no longer give me the blues.

Two B’s or not two B’s? That is the easiest question. Not two B’s — definitely not two B’s. One B is our best bet; it leaves us with our best Brett.

“Hey, Brett, you better?”

“You bet!”

________________________________________________


In unrelated news…

Last night my over-35 softball team improved to 5-1 with a 19-2 run-rule romp. The game began minutes after a passing storm, and a rainbow appeared high over the field early on. And yet, my team’s win wasn’t the prettiest softball game of the night, nor the most rewarding. Those honors go to my alma mater, the University of Florida, which played Alabama in Oklahoma City in the second game of the best-of-three championship series of the Women’s College World Series.


The Gators had advanced that far before, in 2009 and 2011, but finished as the runner-up each time. No June swoon this year. The third time indeed was the charm. Fifth-ranked Florida defeated No. 2 Alabama 6-3 to capture its first WCWS title.

It took a team effort to roll the Tide, of course, but the Gators reached the summit because for two days, Oklahoma City became Miss Rogers’ neighborhood. Senior pitcher Hannah Rogers, who was named Most Outstanding Player of the WCWS, shut out Alabama 5-0 on Monday and earned the save in yesterday’s clincher. Fittingly, she was involved in the season’s final play. An Alabama player hit a one-hopper back to the mound. Game. Title. Dogpile!


Florida — your 2014 national chomp-ions!

Go Gators!!!

Monday, June 2, 2014

What the...? Fack?!

Today’s typo, which I came across in an old Deadspin story while doing research for a separate post, has me craving Kung Pao chicken, moo goo gai pan and other dishes from a certain popular Chinese restaurant. Why? Because this 2010 North Carolina State baseball media guide is in desperate need of a PF change.


The NC State athletics administration blew its cover, literally. Can’t find the big, bad error? Stalk your prey into the upper-right corner and you’ll discover something that really packs a punch. Whoever put that word on the BALL wasn’t, um, on the ball.

W, O and L — the leaders of the Wolfpack — are a howling success. It’s at this point, however, that the lineup crumbles. The cleanup letter and the one on deck are, like the whole trial in …And Justice for All, out of order. The transposed letters stick out like a long, sharp canine in this dog-eat-dog world.

The 2010 NC State baseball team, which finished 38-24, made 102 errors in 2,403 chances (.958 fielding percentage). The team’s media relations office made one error in five chances (.800) on the cover — and it was a whopper, akin to dropping an easy pop fly while nursing a one-run lead with two outs and the bases loaded in the ninth inning.

Wolp packs a wallop. We don’t need a full moon to realize that if it were wolf, the word would transform into something meaningful. The lesson? Mixing your P’s and F’s can create all sorts of paux fas, er, faux pas. Editors can eliminate such blunders. We are, after all, quite helfpul.