Wednesday, September 12, 2012

No-No-No-No, No-No-No, No-No

[Owen dials the phone. It rings.]

Hello, you've reached the editorial offices of Entertainment Weekly. No one can come to the phone right now. Leave a message and a representative will get back to you as soon as possible. Beep!

Hey, EW. This is Owen. I'm a longtime subscriber, first-time caller. You do good work ... most of the time. I hate to get all Simon Cowell-y on you, but if only you saw what I could see, you'd understand why I'm calling so judgmentally.

Right now I'm looking at you, EW, and I can't believe you don't know (oh, oh) ... you don't know "join together" is redundant. Oh, how I love redundancies. [Owen coughs.] Everyone else in the room can see it, everyone else but you. Allow me, then, to point you in the right direction — and there is only one direction.

In simple terms, join means to bring or come together. As such, join and together don't need to come together. So, make together go away faster than One Direction left anonymity in the rearview mirror following the boy band's performance on The X Factor. That would be a step in the right direction.

So c-come on — you got it wrong. No big deal. It's forgivable. We all make mistakes. What's important is that we learn from them.

I'm sure you've learned your lesson, EW. That's what makes you beautiful.


No comments:

Post a Comment