Friday, June 14, 2013

Training Day

The passengers in this sentence are packed tighter than the passengers aboard the Metro-North Railroad trains this article is about.

For this crowded sentence to get back on track, the first use of passengers needs to exit at the next stop.

Open seats are tough to find on peak Metro-North New Haven Line trains into Manhattan's Grand Central Station. I know — I speak from experience. Passengers are often left standing, which doesn't seem fair after paying a hefty fare. We're getting taken for a ride. That's not today's issue, however. It's uh, er... What was it again? I've lost my train of thought.

Oh, right: In this sentence, only one of the passengers should have been left standing.

Let me leave you with one more thing before our train departs the station: A comma is needed after Marcus. Come aboard, comma! Plenty of seats available.

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