Thursday, January 29, 2015

Catch 22

In one of its annual pro football magazines, Lindy’s Sports ranked the best NFL players, by position. After perusing the outstanding quarterbacks and before checking out the top tight ends, I passed an unfamiliar position, one I almost didn’t catch. But catch it I did, because I possess the sure hands of an elite wide receier.

Did you catch that?

I intentionally repeated Lindy’s Sports’ pointed (literally) omission. Someone with hands of stone — a subpar wide receiver, perhaps, or Michelangelo’s David — dropped the ball. In this case, the proverbial ball is the 22nd letter of the alphabet. RECEIERS contains a bevy of letters, but it’s void of V. No vital V is viewed in the vicinity of the second E. Its vanishing makes this varied word very wrong, vetoing its veracity. Visibly.

Ineligible receivers, players who may not legally catch a forward pass, have long been a part of football nomenclature. Today we must introduce a new, similar-sounding term — illegible receiver — into the NFL’s lexicon.

A well-received post today, I’m sure. In fact, I couldn’t be more excited. Give me five! Or as Michelangelo and his ancient Roman counterparts would say…

Give me V!

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